On January 28 I walked into the Tuerk House at my rock bottom, broke and broken. The scariest and weakest point in my life. Never being in a treatment facility or rehab before, the only thing I knew was what I saw on reality TV.

Reality didn’t hit me until I got to the second floor of the Tuerk House and was introduced to a peer recovery coach who explained the roles and told me chore was to clean the bathroom for the week. I replied, “We don’t have housekeeping?” The coach responded loudly and strongly, “You are housekeeping. Where do you think you are? I guess you think we have a golf course outside.” Bam. Reality. This was a real 30-day detox.

I had always had faith in a higher power but had lost it somewhere during my alcoholic binge. So I’m in the Tuerk House and we’re having a group meeting. I realized that the counselors, peers, and guest speakers are giving me all of this knowledge about my disease and tools to recover, but I had to be willing to receive it. I had to be willing to be a student, to humble myself because the help was there. What stood out to me from the counseling sessions and meetings was, “to thine own self be true.” Believe in a power greater than yourself.

My 30 days of prayer helped, and I stayed open to learn, even when I didn’t understand the staff’s tactics. They had the licenses and degrees. They were there to feed me what they knew. But it was up to me to eat.

Tuerk House staff is stern but they give you exactly what you need to begin to rebuild your life. But you have to want it.

When my 30 days were over it was time to go back to my life and be a productive member of society. I was still growing in my process and 30 days was not enough. I had been an alcoholic for 20 years.

Every day of those 30 days I was asked the same question: What’s your next step? When my counselor gave me my certificate of completion, I was sober but still needed the program. I felt good, but I’m a still a baby in the process. At this time, Tuerk House had just remodeled and reopened its sister facility, the Nilsson House. My counselor told me to go there and trust the process. It was the best decision I have ever made in my life—to continue to grow and become stronger in overcoming my addiction.

Walking into Nilsson House, I was lost and didn’t know what I was searching for, but I was ready to surrender. I had a family that was loving me when I didn’t love myself. A therapist who saw potential in me and did whatever she had to do for me to tap into it, if it was just listening to me talk, staying late to listen to music, hugging me… When I cried, she was there. Peers who shared their stories of addiction and how they overcame. They reassured me every day that they were here to help me get back to a better version of myself.

Through metaphors, “you feel the way you feel because you think the way you think,” self-affirmations, nursing groups, and counseling groups, these ladies helped me get my self-esteem back. I had to love myself. I realized I was strong the day I walked into the Tuerk House. But these ladies showed me how to tap into that strength and find the value in my sober self. I gained from this program. I am loving the skin I’m in. I’m stronger, but I also was obedient and trusted the process. I will forever be grateful to my Nilsson and Tuerk House family for helping me save me. Don’t leave five minutes before the miracle happens. One day at a time.